


The Mess Inside

by drhorrible (angelaofthelord)



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:37:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15777009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelaofthelord/pseuds/drhorrible
Summary: While he's in North Dakota, Dennis watches Mac through instagram.Pining, stalking, and lives lived apart.





	The Mess Inside

**Author's Note:**

> mmm i didn't edit the last quarter of this so pls forgive any mistakes!

Mac had started using instagram regularly after he came out. Actually using it, instead of just browsing the body building tag under the guise of inspiration. Before he left Philly Dennis hadn’t really paid it much attention – there were just a couple of selfies and heavily filtered pictures of beer bottles. Dennis saw and drank with Mac every day; he didn’t need to see the evidence on instagram. When he was in North Dakota however, it was another story.

The first picture was an off centre shot of the neon sign for the Rainbow.

Choice of filter aside, it was admittedly a pretty good photo. Dennis could imagine taking the same sort of photo himself, but he would choose a much more subtle and artistic filter. Underneath the garish sign Mac had written an uninspired caption (a series of rainbow emojis) but it still had at least 30 likes, and multiple comments. He was confused when he realised that he didn’t recognise most of handles. Quickly he spotted sweetdee23 – and what a laughable handle that was – had posted an eggplant emoji, and trundlethegreat had posted the dancing emoji and cat with heart eyes.

_Interestingly_ he saw that Rex had left a comment. PhillyMuscleBro had posted ‘gr8 to see you again tonight bro!!’. Dennis gripped his phone hard and felt suddenly dizzy, but he just took a breath and another drag of his cigarette and filed the information away.

(Dennis definitely didn’t check out every single guy who also commented – and they were all guys – and he _definitely_ didn’t report all the accounts for hate speech).

* * *

 

The next photo that Dennis saw was a photo of Mac in the mirror at the gym. He was wearing a tank top that showed off his arms and shoulder’s beautifully. Mac was grinning and flexing and _holy shit_ he’d actually been working out since Dennis had left. The muscles in Mac’s arms had been getting more and more defined over the years but he was really cut now. His upper body looked chiselled and defined but not overly muscular direction that some men went. And Mac’s _thighs._

Dennis was secure enough in his sexuality that he could admit those were the kind of thighs he’d happily have wrapped about his neck. Judging by the comments below he wasn’t the only one who was appreciating Mac’s new look.

Before he lost his cool Dennis took a screenshot and cropped out the comments, before scrolling quickly to the post below. 

* * *

 

Mac’s instagram followed the same sort of pattern for a while, pictures of cocktails and blurry photos of neon lights. There was one memorable picture of Mac’s face in profile with glitter spread across his cheekbone, Mac was smiling gently and his eyes were crinkled in the corner. He looked soft and happy and at peace. When Dennis saw it he had a sharp pain in his chest, an ache so deep he didn’t know what to do. For one second he didn’t know what was happening, he thought he was having a heart attack or god forbid a panic attack. But then he realised it was longing. Dennis missed Mac and the gang and Philly, and _Mac_ so much it physically hurt.

So Dennis would check Mac’s instagram every day, look at the new posts and the comments, and ache and ache and ache.

Mac had even started posting pictures of him and Dee together. These were the ones that hurt the most. The first was a picture of Mac and Dee both wearing reflective aviator glasses while they were pouting into the camera with their arms around each other. The caption read ‘solidarity’ and Dennis couldn’t quite work out what they were talking about. It didn’t matter in the end because he realised that the two people closest to him in the entire world were now together without him and they didn’t even seem to be missing him. They spoke to each in ways he didn’t understand any more.

After that Dee and Mac’s pictures together seemed to be more frequent

The final straw came when he saw a picture of Dee sitting on the couch in their apartment. No. _Mac’s_ apartment. Dee was lying back with her giant feet propped up on Mac’s lap and she had a bowl of popcorn balanced on her stomach. The photo was severely unflattering for Dee, who obviously realised this as she was flipping off the camera. Dee looking ugly and Mac making fun of her was normal, but what caused Dennis to break was the caption. It just read ‘Movie night’ with a series of sunglasses emojis.

Dennis screamed.

He screamed and he threw his phone at the wall and he burned. He felt like he was burning up from the inside out.

They had completely replaced him. Mac was gay and happy and hanging out with _Dee._ He was hanging out in gay bars and drinking fruity cocktails and giving all of his attention to any beefcake who came into his eye-line. He was probably slamming ass up and down town and telling Dee all about it. There were probably out hitting on guys together.

Dennis was nothing but a fading memory to them. He was nothing. He was empty and fading away no one cared.

After that he didn’t really remember anything else. He could see himself walking to the liquor store and picking up a bottle of cheap vodka and a six-pack of beers. He could see it but he wasn’t there, not really. Dennis was floating five feet behind himself feeling everything and nothing. They didn’t care anymore. He was forgotten.

* * *

When he woke up the next day his phone was beyond repair, which was about what he expected. 

Dennis groaned and buried his face further into his pillow. His head was pounding in a way it hadn’t in years and his mouth was dry. It felt like something small and furry had crawled into his mouth and died. Christ he was in his forties he couldn’t keep doing this.

He let himself wallow for a few more seconds before he dragged himself out of bed and looked around his room. He’d only been in North Dakota a few months but he was still staying in a crappy motel. It suited all of his needs just fine; he had a double bed all to himself, which is more than he had in Philly, access to all the cable and porn his credit card would allow and no one to tell him when to eat.

But still. It was quiet and empty and cold. It was also ugly. An eyesore really. It wasn’t befitting of a man like him. He didn’t have the money to get an apartment yet though, the low paying job he had in a diner was barely supporting him as it was. Without access to Frank’s credit cards on a daily basis he was really feeling the pinch of every day life. Dennis found himself feeling grateful to Mandy, as she had never asked for child support. He suspected it was only out of pity but he couldn’t really afford his ego right now.

North Dakota was cold and lonely and boring as shit. Seeing his son every other day was his only bright spot but even that couldn’t take away from drab and grey lifelessness of this shithole state. He hadn’t even gotten laid since he’d been here. Although now that he thought about it he hadn’t even had sex in the months before he left Philly.

His mind drifted to Mac, thinking about how he had probably ended his years long dry spell finally. Dennis pictured what Mac would be like the first time he banged a guy, he couldn’t decide whether he’d be nervous and shy like he was a virgin all over again or if he’d be desperate for it. The latter was hotter Dennis decided. Mac pushing some guy up against a wall, the bathroom wall of the Rainbow probably. Gripping his neck and kissing desperately like it was the answer to everything.

Suddenly in his mind it wasn’t an anonymous bathroom anymore, it was the wall of their apartment and Mac was the one pressed against the wall. Mac would gasp as Dennis kissed along his neck and bit down, and his trapped body would squirm against Dennis’. They’d be pressed together along the lengths of their torsos and Dennis would be able to feel every hard line on Mac’s body.

_“Dennis, please, I need you.”_

Dennis screwed his eyes shut. He was definitely hard now.

Pushing his covers away, Dennis shivered as the morning air hit his exposed skin. It was only then that realised he’d actually gotten undressed and ready for sleep whilst drunk last night. He mentally thanked his past self. A thin pair of boxers was all that he was wearing, and Dennis didn’t waste anytime. Usually he liked to take his time when pleasuring himself, but his hangover was more pressing at the moment.

Lightly he ran his fingers over his dick and hissed. He brought himself back to his fantasy quickly, thinking about all the noises Mac would make when Dennis bit and kissed at his neck.

Mac would be desperate. Dennis knew this for a fact. He had been pining after Dennis since the first day they met, and that was a hell of a lot of sexual frustration. Add to that a decade or so of unsatisfying sex, and then even more years of no sex, Mac would be _begging_ Dennis to take him.

He’d push Mac down on his (Mac’s? Their?) bed. Dennis would pull off his shirt and bask in Mac’s attention. Tentatively and almost shyly Mac would reach forward and run his fingers over Dennis’ toned chest.

_“Is this what you’ve always dreamed about baby boy?”_

After all of his instagram stalking Dennis could easily imagine what Mac’s body looked like after his new workout regime. He was all muscle, compact and powerful and toned. Not lean and sleek like Dennis, but beautiful in his own right.

His light teasing wasn’t enough now, and Dennis reached into his boxers and pulled out his swollen cock. He was red and leaking in an obscenely desperate way. It really had been a long while.

Dennis started to stroke himself, thumbing the leaking head on the upstroke, and thought about what he wanted to do to Mac first. He knew Mac had an oral fixation and he was _so_ eager to please. The first blowjob would be sloppy and hurried but he knew Mac would put his all into it, and that desperation was what turned him on so much.

As the pace of his strokes increased Dennis imagined Mac’s expression. His eyelashes were dark against his pale skin, but his lips would be bright red as Dennis fucked in and out of his gaping mouth. His eyes were wide and almost watering, but Mac was so so willing. He was desperate for this. Desperate for Dennis to take and to take and make Mac _his._

Mac’s hair would be soft and loose like it was in his pictures. He didn’t need to pretend anymore and try and imitate his gross father. Instead he was this beautiful and soft looking picture, and Dennis could grip his hair and _ruin it._

As he pulled at Mac’s hair Dennis groaned. This was what he wanted. It was what he needed and had been missing. He felt complete as his cock was engulfed by the hot suction of Mac’s mouth. He felt needed and desired and – loved.

Dennis fucked into his fist almost painfully at this thought. It was like his hips had taken on a life of their own. With his free hand he tweaked one of his nipples and thrust up a final time

In his mind’s eye he could see Mac’s open and loving face painted with his come.

There was the picture of adoration covered in his lust. It was as beautiful as it was disgusting and it was just what he needed to come in real life. Dennis spurted all over his fist and some ropes of come his chest.

He paused for second and tried to catch his breath.

Dennis fell back into his bed feeling warm and happy and calm. He was sated and he had released something he didn’t even know he had been holding back. This had come out of nowhere. He didn’t even remember how he had started thinking about this much less masturbating.

As he tried to pull himself out of bed Dennis found himself wobbling and unsteady. The alcohol was really hitting him now. When he ran towards the bathroom he had only one thought.

He needed to get back to Philly.

**Author's Note:**

> title from the mountain goats song of the same name
> 
> follow me on:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/drh0rrible)  
> [tumblr](https://betanoiz.tumblr.com)


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